Already His (The Caversham Chronicles - Book Two) Read online

  The only thing he could think was how could this have happened? The hoyden who dangled from a trellis, who’d swung from tree limbs over head as she spied on him endlessly as young man, had morphed from her cocoon and emerged a magnificent butterfly. A beautiful butterfly. His heart hammered in his chest and he felt rooted to the spot as Ren stepped forward.

  How was he going to explain this... this... change in his feelings to Ren?

  His friend cleared his throat and Michael’s gaze snapped to Ren’s. “Ah, yes,” Michael muttered as he came forward to greet Lady Sewell.

  Ren did the same and after kissing her cheek, she said, “I spoke to Lia in the hallway just before knocking on Elise’s door. She said to tell you that Marcus is sleeping for now. I told her she should nap as well because the babe will be up again soon enough.”

  They placed the ladies’ pelisses over their shoulders. Catching a faint whiff of Elise’s delicate lavender perfume, Michael wished he could linger near her, wished he could touch her. He fought the urge because of the presence of her brother.

  There couldn’t be a repeat of last night’s folly. He had to avoid putting both of them in such a situation again—at least until he could work out what these emotions were he was experiencing. It wasn’t fair to Elise, nor Ren, and it was putting a strain on his self control.

  Michael assisted the ladies into the carriage bearing the Caversham crest and the driver cued the team into traffic. Soon the conversation continued from the foyer. “Sometimes I think my brother worries excessively about us. It feels smothering at times.”

  Lady Sewell came to her grandson’s defense. “Be thankful he cares, dear. There are many who do not. We all know men who have left the raising of children to staff, dictating rules from a distance.”

  Michael nodded. Turning to Elise he said, “We are taught as boys that honor, keeping our word, and protecting what is ours, whether that is our family or our possessions, is everything to a man. Your brother is just doing what his father did before him, and what he will teach his sons to do as well.”

  It was the truth, but Michael would never reveal to the ladies that there had been times of very real threat to their family in the past. Ren had successfully hidden the facts of their father and stepmother’s deaths because he didn’t want Elise to think of her cousin as a murderer. And now there was this threat of Sinclair looming over them. Michael knew his friend very well, and he knew that he would worry for Elise until she was safely wed and settled in the home of a new protector, her husband.

  By the time they arrived at the Holderman’s mansion, their mood had lightened and all were in good humor. This served them well for the line to disembark and enter the stately home was horrendously long.

  Michael dread the night ahead. He hated the thought of having to watch over Elise as she danced and courted her many suitors, and considered this his due penance for stealing that kiss the night before. The kiss he couldn’t forget. The one that both of them had avoided discussing. He really did have to clear that up with her soon. Michael didn’t want her to believe that kiss meant as much to him as it did. If Elise knew the power she held over him.... He was afraid to speculate where such knowledge would lead. She was the type of girl who take the knowledge and use it to her best advantage, twining his heart around her long, delicate fingers.

  The ballroom was filled to capacity by the time they entered and a waltz was underway. It seemed to Michael that all eyes turned to stare at their party when they were announced. Once he ascertained that Sinclair was not in attendance, he left the ladies to seek out their acquaintances and have their fun. He stood on the far side of the ballroom, near the open terrace doors, and did as he’d promised his friend—stood sentinel over Elise.

  A tall and lean well dressed young man, no more than twenty-five, came to him in the corner of the ballroom. His dark hair and eyes were likely considered good-looking by the ladies. Michael wondered who the un-jaded fresh-faced lad was, and what he wanted. Probably an introduction to someone he knew. He gave the man a slight smile, acknowledging him.

  “Lord Camden,” the young man said, “I am Mr. Stephen Carroll, I work for Mr. Cartland.”

  Michael lifted a curious brow. “Are you certain you have the experience necessary, Mr. Carroll?”

  A hardened glint flashed in the younger man’s eyes, but his expression remained poised, collected. Michael was impressed. “I assure you my lord, I am more than qualified.” Lifting a flute from the tray as a footman passed, he continued. “Now, as I am only just arrived, may I ask who is the young lady I am to keep watch on?”

  Michael kept his skepticism to himself, knowing he would also be with Elise as she attending functions in the evening, pointed her out in the crowd. “She’s the tall one in mint green with ivory lace, short brown hair.” He didn’t want to say he thought she was the most beautiful young woman in the room that night, but he certainly thought it.

  “Thank you sir. I shall make myself known to her. Would you care to make the introductions, or should someone else. According to His Grace, he believes she might balk at having a guard, so she’ll not learn of my position from me, nor my partners outside.”

  “I thank you, Mr. Carroll,” Michael said. “It is perhaps best to find someone else. Lady Elise is rather miffed with me at the moment, and might suspect something if I were to make the introductions. Do you know anyone here from among your set, that could make them?” At the man’s nod, Michael gave a relieved sigh. “Good. Then let’s hope the evening is quiet, sir.”

  Soon after Mr. Carroll began to weave his way into the crowd, several of Michael’s peers came to join him and they discussed the mundane trivialities they usually did at events of the sort. Several times he was asked why he didn’t make for the gaming rooms and he replied with the banal excuse of either enjoying the view from where he stood, or not being in a mood for games. It wasn’t until after he’d said them that he realized they weren’t excuses at all.

  “I say Camden, is the rumor true?” Lord Randolph, a paunchy man some years his senior, held a respected position in Parliament.

  “Depends on the rumor, I suppose,” he replied. “What have you heard?”

  “That you’re on a bride hunt,” the older man said, and quickly added, “I realize you’re in mourning, but....” The man seemed uneasy with the topic. “if the rumor were true, I have a daughter with the face and voice of an angel.”

  The gentleman on his right coughed a fit and his poppycock of a friend slapped him on the back, as though to revive a dying man.

  “I certainly would not say I’m on a hunt,” Michael replied. “My uncle, though ill for many years, has only been in the ground a week. By my calculations I have two months and three weeks left to mourn the man.” When he saw that Randolph was puzzled by his words, he asked, “Who is it that is saying I’m on a ‘hunt?’”

  “My wife heard through Lady Ennisdale, who heard it directly from Lady Knebworth. Since then, my lady wife has been pressing me to make an introduction to our Caroline.”

  “My sister,” he grumbled. Damn her meddling soul. When he saw Sabrina next week, he would be sure to ring a peal on her ears about minding her own affairs. Suddenly the looks he and Elise received today while out made sense. The stares, the waves, the greetings he’d thought were given because of the lovely social butterfly in his company, were actually intended for him. Those title-hungry mamas couldn’t give a fig for Elise, they’d wanted his attention. The only reason he hadn’t been set upon by the charging hordes, must be because he’d just arrived fifteen minutes ago. Word of his arrival had likely just made the complete round of the room, and Randolph was the first brave soul to venture forth with a request for an introduction.

  It looked as though he was in for a tedious night. He wondered how long this news had been working its way through the ton gossip vine. “Randolph, when did your wife heard this news?”

  “She came to me two days ago in a winded frenzy. Wanted to know how well I
knew you, then quickly imparted the gossip. Of course, I told her I was not going to go out of my way to foist our Caroline on you, but that should the moment arise....”

  As the man droned on Michael thought back. If he hadn’t left Everly’s early last night, he was sure to have been hounded then. Today he’d been too busy to note until now the odd reactions he’d received. This also explained the mountain of cards and invitations waiting for his attention on his desk. They’d all arrived—every single one of them—in the last few days. Suddenly, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place, and he now understood. He had to call off his mother and sisters.

  Taking a glance at Elise, noting her deep in conversation with a group of young people, and with Sinclair nowhere to be found, he pushed away from the wall. As long as he kept her within sight, he should be able to move around the room.

  Meeting the girl would do no harm. He might even find her interesting. Thus accepting his fate and knowing Lady Caroline wouldn’t be the only debutante foisted on him this night, he said, “Let’s go meet your daughter, Randolph.”

  Elise spied Michael’s handsome form as he spoke with the Randolph girl. A stab of jealousy pierced her heart. She realized she couldn’t possibly be the only one who was interested in Michael for a husband. With him now in possession of a title older than her brother’s and a fortune nearly as large, it made him a very attractive target for those meddlesome, matchmaking matrons with available daughters. She quashed her jealousy and decided to enjoy the evening, at least until she could come up with a plan.

  “My lady, would you like to dance?” asked a gentleman she’d been speaking to a few moments earlier. Mister something. Curran? Carroll? Carlyle? Turning what she’d hoped was her most radiant smile to him, she nodded and allowed him to escort her onto the floor.

  During the entire dance as she whirled around the room, her gaze always returned to Michael. Hopefully it wasn’t too obvious to her partner. He was rather nice. If she could only remember his name.

  But it really didn’t matter. After that dance came another with a different partner, and another after that. She soon tired and escaped the floor as her escort left to get her a punch. Outdoors, the air was much cooler with a slight breeze coming off the river. She stayed well within the light of the ballroom, but far enough away from the doors that she got the moment of privacy she desired.

  From the moment she knew she was in love with Michael all those years ago, her heart had never wavered. Michael’s kiss last night gave her the spark of hope she’d yearned for. During the ride through the park that afternoon, she knew he meant to tell her the kiss meant nothing to him. But earlier tonight at the house his hands lingered on her shoulders when he’d placed her wrap about her. Then during their carriage ride here she felt him hold her protectively when the carriage hit a bump. His actions led Elise to think she could possibly be wrong, and that perhaps he did care.

  Seeing him now with Lady Caroline Randolph was like a burning, painful blow. The other girl was beautiful, demure and feminine. She was everything Elise wasn’t.

  “Might I give my lady a refreshment?” Michael’s familiar voice rang through her with welcome delight.

  She turned her gaze to meet his, and gave him a weary smile. As she took the glass he offered, she said, “My last partner... um....” She dropped her voice to a whisper. “This is embarrassing for I cannot remember the young man’s name. He went to fetch one for me.”

  “The young man that just left?” If Elise didn’t know better she’d think that Michael was laughing at her. “Mr. Carroll?”

  “Yes. He’s a superb dancer and quite handsome as well.” She looked up at Michael. “ Do you know him?”

  “Only casually. He’s a second son I believe. His father is a minor baron from Kent.”

  “Yes, he said he was from Kent,” she said. “He seems rather nice.”

  “Your brother would never agree,” Michael said, reminding her, “He has no title and no fortune. All he has to recommend him is his familial connection.”

  She stared at him, her brow furrowing. Concern colored his voice as he asked, “What’s the matter? You seemed to be having a good time in there. You hardly sat out a dance during the orchestra’s last set.”

  She sipped the punch he’d given her, thankful for the relief to her parched throat. “Nothing is the matter. I’m just tired and confused, that’s all.”

  “Tired I can understand. But confused? Might I inquire as to why?”

  She had to be honest with him, because in the end it was what she desired from him. “Yes, but....” She looked around to make certain they weren’t being spied upon before continuing, “I don’t know if you can help me.”

  “I’m certain I can,” he offered. “There’s no problem so large I wouldn’t attempt to eliminate it for you.”

  “What if you are the problem?” she said in a voice just above a whisper.

  “Ah, I see,” he replied.

  She wondered if he really did. “Well, I’m glad you do, because I surely don’t.”

  “Elise,” he began, “I wanted to talk to you about this earlier today, in the park, but then we were sidetracked with the kittens, and.... Well, I want to apologize again for my boorish behavior last night. It was wrong of me to....”

  “No. It wasn’t. It wasn’t wrong of you, and I wish you would stop apologizing. I just want you to kiss me like that again. And again and again and again.”

  He groaned and raked a hand through his thick mane. She sensed his unease with her revelation. It looked like he would rather be anywhere but where he was, that was how uncomfortable he looked. She turned away from him, and looked out over the Holderman’s manicured garden.

  “I’m sorry. I should never have said that. One day I hope to master keeping my tongue. It’s a virtue I’ve lacked since first learning to speak.” Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the traces of a smile tinge the corners of his lips. She felt the color rise in her face as she realized that he of all people knew of her inability to hold her thoughts. “Of course you know that.”

  “All too well, my lady.” His profile was beautiful against the glow of the chandeliers spilling out from open doors. “Though I never found your openness and honesty an undesirable trait.”

  “Do you see? Herein lies the problem, my lord. We’re dancing around this thing... this relationship if you will, that we are each perceiving differently.” She hoped his continued silence meant he was actually considering her words. “I think you know where I stand. I can’t possibly make it more clear than I have for all these years. And, before you ridicule me, I have taken my brother’s words to heart, and tried to temper my emotions, hold my tongue, and all manner of other things I’m supposed to do. I do this to show you all that I have matured out of some school-girl infatuation.”

  She looked up at him and asked, “Have you ever felt strongly about something? Or known something to be so absolutely right and true in your deepest heart without ever knowing how it could be that you know it?”

  He gave a slight nod as he stared off over the rail behind her.

  “That’s how I feel. And try as I might, I cannot come up with a way to explain it to myself. I just live with it and will likely continue to do so.” She leaned over the balustrade, feigning attention at something on the lawn below. She spoke to him in a voice so low she barely heard herself, “Except each day gets more and more painful.”

  When he still did not reply, Elise realized he didn’t hold any affection for her other than a brotherly sort. “Of course, now that you know all this, you’ll no doubt hie yourself back to your office or whatever hole you hid in the last time and I won’t see you again for months and months.” The knot in her throat grew more painful, and her voice cracked as she spoke, but she had to speak her mind. She knew no other way.

  “Elise, you are my best friend’s little sister.” The tension was evident in his voice. “I’m afraid what I feel for you cannot be....” He struggled for the right wor
d. “Cultivated. I would lose the esteem, and thus the friendship of your brother, for he would certainly think me dishonorable for feeling the things I do about you.”

  A tiny glimmer of hope began to flicker in her heart. “Then you felt it too, last night.”

  He nodded curtly, his expression grim and resolved. “But I will have to deny myself—and you as well—for my devotion and promise to your brother must take precedent over what I’ve come to feel for you.”

  “But why? What promise? Explain it to me so I can understand,” Elise demanded. “Is it the age difference? If so, just look around us! Men marry younger brides. My brother is one of them. He’s the same age as you and Lia is just a year older than I. Surely he will understand. Papa was old enough to be Amelia’s father yet they loved each other very much.”

  Michael shook his head. He was fighting this. It was obvious to even the blindest person. And she was tired of battling him. Even Napoleon knew when he’d lost the war. “Well, then,” she whispered. “I’ve tried.”

  She took two steps back toward the ballroom, stopped, and turned to face him again. “You’d best return to the anxious mamas and their perfect daughters, for every one of them thinks you’re making plans to fill a nursery.”

  Elise plastered a smile on her face and went back to the party. She would force herself to at least pretend to enjoy the remainder of the evening no matter how much she hurt. Throughout the night the squeezing pain in her breast grew, several times threatening to force her to tears. But she would not allow herself to cry here. Tears were something she reserved for the solitude of her bedroom. When she was alone.

  Lady Beatrice Sewell, upon seeing the saddened state of her grand-daughter and the distressed state of Lord Camden after their return to the ballroom, vowed—if only to herself—to do everything within her power to bring these two people, who obviously loved each other a great deal, together.